is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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