You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
