There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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