Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
