I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
