Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
