yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
