Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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