Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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