i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
you mean i was at the winter classic?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize