You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
