I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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