I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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