Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
