where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
