Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Small penises have feelings too.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
