we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize