i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
high people should be assigned attendants
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize