Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
