wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
