I'm really into asian looking animals
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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