i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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