I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
