garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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