real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
