I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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