when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
