Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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