I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
