Its about making memories worth repressing
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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