HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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