He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
