An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
nutella sex= disaster
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
