If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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