sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
