Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
