hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
