i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
