Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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