Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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