Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
