it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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