Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
