We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
