You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
