every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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