i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
