Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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