Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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