So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize