do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
