this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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