What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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