I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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