i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
