I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
