Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize