so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
