On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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